As a single woman heading into Thanksgiving, you can have some interesting emotions. You might feel awkward showing up again without a date, and dreading the conversations with family about your life and what you are doing. Or you might be bringing a date to Thanksgiving and you might be fearful of what they will think or how things will go. Either way this one event of eating together as a family can allow for opportunities to choose consciously what you are going to think. So I want to help give you some things to think about so you can enjoy Thanksgiving this year.
1.Everyone is doing the best they can.
Their best may not be that awesome, but they are doing their best. Understanding that each person has their own things going on, their own battles below the surface. Don’t put a lot of pressure on others to behave a certain way. Accept where they are and believe they are doing the best they can with what they are working with. Grace goes a long way when interacting with other people, especially during the Holidays when there is that extra pressure that is just magically there for everyone. Understanding that mistakes will be made, things will be misunderstood and even miscommunicated, and every single person is a human with a desire to be loved just the way they are. This concept has been very helpful for me as I interact with family, friends, and even random people I engage with as I am out an about. This helps me to enjoy people for where they are, not where I wish they would be. Sometimes their best is not where I want them to be, but if I can accept where they are I can really enjoy them where they are and not judge them against where they “should” be. They should be right where they are. And note; this goes for you to. You are doing the best you can. If you can accept you right where you are and not hold you up against where you “should” be then you will enjoy you a whole lot more. Drop this ideal version of how everyone should behave and start enjoying or becoming someone who enjoys people right where they are.
2. It feels really great to love people.
I love loving people. I feel like Buddy the Elf, but really loving people is a ton of fun. When you walk into a room your brain is going to look for danger and the best way it does that is by judging people. You are afraid of being judged by others so your first line of defense is to judge them in your mind. Reject them before they reject you kind of a thing. But you know what is fun? Walking into a room of people and thinking amazing thoughts about them on purpose. Thinking thoughts that make you feel love for them. This may come easier with some than with others, but I encourage you to try this out. Before you go to your Thanksgiving festivities, I want you to consciously think amazing thoughts about the people that will be there. When you get there I want you to think thoughts that make you love them and from there take action towards them. My favorite feelings to take into a group of people is love and curiosity. I can’t wait to know more about who God has made this person to be and what God is doing in their life. I love being curious about all that is going on with them. I love sharing my thoughts with them and hearing their thoughts too. When I quiet my lower brain and tell it that everything is fine, there is nothing to fear when you go into this group of people, I enjoy my experience so much more.
3. Make things fun.
I know this sounds really simple but sometimes we don’t actually try and make things fun. We can go through the motions and check the boxes and at the end of the day be disappointed that we didn’t really enjoy ourself. Typically when I am present and in the moment practicing joy, I do have a good time. But that takes some real intentional thinking. I am continually reminding my clients things aren’t fun, you are fun. So I encourage you to be in the moment. Be fun. Actually look people in the eyes. Savor that piece of pie. Stop and enjoy the card games you are playing or the people you are with. Make the side dish that you most want to eat. Laugh, be you, and create a fun time because of how you are showing up to Thanksgiving this year. And if you are able to do things that you enjoy, ask others to join you in that. Inviting people into things that you enjoy is sharing parts of you with them. So bring you to the family, and think about what you are doing in ways that allow you to enjoy more and more. When you can show up to these places and have a great time, knowing you were the one that created it, you can realize that you can create this anywhere. Enjoyment is available to you, even at Thanksgiving.
I know that the Holidays can have a bad rap with single women, but you can decide exactly what you want to experience and create just that. And your experience does not have to be contingent on how other people show up and act. When you determine who you are going to be and work at showing up that way, it is so much more empowering, than to sit back and let Thanksgiving happen to you.
Happy Thanksgiving friend,
Angie
