When you believe that God owns all the cattle on all the fields of all the land, and He owns and created all the men in the world, you start to believe that one of those men could love you and you could love him back.
That is a belief that could change the results you have in your life.
I believed the opposite. There isn’t a way in the world that there could be even one guy that likes me and I like him back. That belief kept me single. I believed it was too hard. I believed that I had to sit back and wait. I believed I couldn’t want something without a guarantee that I would get it. I don’t really know where those beliefs started and it really doesn’t matter, what matters most for you is that if you do believe that way, we can go in and replace that belief with something that you actually want to believe.
If you believe there could be many different guys that you could like and they like you back then you open yourself up to the possibility that the hardest part is just finding them. From that thought we create a plan to solve that problem.
How do I meet these guys?
Well I think the best thing for you to do is to sit down and brainstorm that very question and see what your brain offers you.
I will give you some of my thoughts.
1. Get online.
Clean up your thoughts about this one first. You may have some judgment around this avenue and you need to deal with it before you step into this arena.
This is a way to meet lots of different people from all over. That may scare you because it seems unknown. It also may scare you because it might work. So know your why and get clear on who you want to be as you present yourself to the online world. It may seem vulnerable because you may know someone or it may seem desperate because you have now resorted to the online game. Whatever you think about this space will create your relationship with it. I know online dating gets a bad reputation but I know many women who have gotten over their thinking and found the love of their life online. What do you need to work through to make this space work for you?
2. Ask your friends if they know any good guys.
Again, check your thoughts because you may have a hard time asking for help. You may also feel a need to please your friends by liking someone they offer you. This doesn’t have to be pressure filled, it can just be another opportunity to meet a great guy and get to know yourself and what you are really looking for. If your friends know you, you might want to take things personal if it doesn’t work out. So don’t put pressure on them either. Just asking them if they know any good guys is opening up to the possibility that there could be people that we are close to in proximity that maybe we just haven’t met before. I am pretty certain the world is more connected to each other than we know sometimes.
I love this story from a friend of mine. Her friend had been overseas for many of her 20s and was coming back to the United States and knowing she had a desire to meet a guy and get married. She emailed all her friends in the States and told them her plans to go around and visit everyone and she wanted to go on blind dates and meet some different guys. Her friends set her up on dates, she went and sure enough one of those dates worked out.
Just the fact that she was willing to put herself out there and ask, opened up the possibility to meet some guys she never had before. I love that it wasn’t a game for her. She knew what she wanted and asked for help to get there. Could you do that?
3. Put yourself in environments to meet guys in the age range you are interested in.
This is so key; make sure it is the age range you are looking for. I know so many people that put themselves in environments with men but they might all be married or too young. I will chat with a single women and say what guys have you been around and their answer is all my friends are married, so just their husbands. FYI: that will not get you a husband unless you are interested in stealing your friend’s husband. Get clear on your age range and don’t be afraid to target getting around those types of guys. I think there is so much negative push back about actively trying for something you really want. If you told me you wanted to be a chef I would say okay let’s find the best cooking schools, figure out which one might work for you, let’s get you in front of other chefs, see how they became one, etc. But when it comes to marriage we are like, well, good luck with that. I hope that works out.
Put yourself around single guys for goodness sakes. And don’t be ashamed of that. This is one of the things you most want in your life. Stop acting like you don’t!
So get creative on how to get around guys, period, don’t add unnecessary drama to it all, just solve the problem with options. Join a co-ed cooking class, go to the singles ministry at church, at your friends church, at random churches. You like softball, play on some different leagues. You bowl, look into that. Whatever your interests connect with other single people over those interests. If you believe you can’t be around guys, then let me tell you, you won’t be around guys. If you think it is hard it will be. A great thought for you is, it is easy to meet new guys. You believe that?
4. Get out
Seriously, there is like a 1 in a trillion chance that your knight in shining armor is going to knock on your door and come looking for you. I don’t know many people that don’t go out and do things, and stumble upon meeting a bunch of different guys. If you stay at home your chances of meeting new people are more limited. Which is fine as long as you want to limit your chances. So if you are invited to do things, go.
Go to the wedding, or the friend’s barbecue. Go study at Panera, or your local coffeeshop. Take a foreign language class or pottery class in your town. Do things. Create opportunities to meet other humans. You might say, well what if I go and there aren’t many guys? That is fine, get to know the girls and remember they might have guy friends. This is all just an opportunity for you to get better at meeting people in general and becoming someone who believes you can meet guys that you might want to get to know better.
5. Throw parties
Create opportunities for people to gather. Invite people to invite people. Open yourself up to expanding your reach in the world. Remember this whole process is going to grow you as a human. You are becoming someone different than you ever have been before. Giving you these spaces to invite people in, is also opening up opportunities for them too. Listen, you are allowing people to get to know other people, that is always a win. You are expanding your connections. Anytime we connect more we allow God to use us in other’s lives and them in ours. You up for that?
All of these things are just to get you thinking. This is meant to make you question what you are willing to do. This may help you expand the limits you may unknowingly set for yourself. I dare you to open up to these ideas and try a few. Remember, you don’t have to create drama around them, just do it. Try to meet other people and see what comes up for you as you engage in this way. Whatever does come up for you is just a clearer insight into what is holding you back from stepping more fully into meeting your future husband.
You have to believe he could be out there.
This is me believing for you, until you can,
Angie
