For the month of February I wanted to focus in on 4 gifts you can give yourself.
The first one is the gift of presence.
I am learning what it looks like to be fully present in my life. And the experience is teaching me so much. I had 3 experiences lately that have taught me a few key things.
It started when I had a weekly tea time with each of my kiddos. I put my phone away and remove every distraction from our midst. I then set a timer and totally focus on the kiddo in front of me. I look at them and see them. I share with them my heart about who I see them as. I remind them of scripture and truths that I want them to remember about God and our family. That got me really thinking about how often I am just with them. Not thinking about a lot of things but just being with them. During that time I don't worry about the other kiddos, or what is for dinner, or when my next coaching session is. I am not worried about the time or really anything. I just set my gaze on them and just be.
Then I was on an evening get away with the women in my community group. The minute I stepped foot into where we were staying for the evening my sole focus was on being there. I was so interested in the other women and what they had to share. I couldn't wait to hear how they were doing and what they were all processing. I lost all track of time and not once thought about what my kiddos and husband were doing. I never looked at my phone. All of my attention was just about being there and being with these women, sharing and listening. What a gift that was to me to have their undivided attention too. When it was time to all leave it was so interesting because I seriously had a whole mental shift and it was like I changed gears. I immediately started thinking, what are my kiddos doing, what needs to get done today, what do I need to do next. It was so funny because I immediately checked every email account, Instagram and Facebook. It was like I had been checked out and totally present with these women and now I was getting checked back into my real life, and fully distracted by all of the "demands" on my life.
Also, I have been having my quiet times in the mornings. I like to have them structured and so typically I work on scripture memory, pray over my precept study, and then get busy with the study. Precepts is broken into daily homework and so I do it, then I kind of run down my mental list of people or circumstances to pray for and then, check it is all done, let's move on with our day. So this whole being present thing has been making me think differently about being present with God. I may have my phone put away but my focus is not really on being with Him. It got me thinking about how much I love quality time with people. I feel most alive when I just get to be with people and not think. So when am I with God and not "thinking" about all of the things? I want to be in His presence and just enjoying who He is. Which ultimately is what I think God wants. He wants to be present in my life and wants to experience my presence with Him.
So these 3 scenarios got me thinking about presence and here are my takeaways.
1. I feel most present when I stop thinking about other things and just keep my gaze on what is in front of me. This my friends takes practice. When you are present in the body but in a million places in your mind you get really good at multi tasking and getting things done but you aren't "really there". I am working on this in my own life by very intentionally focusing my brain on what is at hand and the minute my mind wants to wander or think about something else I re-focus my gaze. I am practicing this in the shower, when I am on walks, or when I am working on a project. I see when my brain leaves what it present to go into the past or future, or to another thing to think about.
2. Focus is best done when we remove distractions, but lets be honest we can't always remove the distractions. So the thought that gets me focused is, "This is the most important thing to me right now." That thought helps retrain my mind to put attention there. We will get to other things when they are important but right now, this is the most important thing. I am finding that when I identify what is important for my brain it will focus their easier.
3. Taking inventory of all that distracts me has been helpful too. Do you constantly check your phone, email, or social media? Our mind would rather be distracted because it is easier to just live unconsciously, the act of being present is actually very hard for our brains. Once I realized I was doing this and had an awareness it was like a light bulb went off and I began to understand why it is so hard for me to be present at times because I am not deciding what is most important at that moment. I am leaving everything up for my attention and in turn everything is getting a little bit of it and nothing is getting all of my attention. That kind of non present living is not fun to me. It feels inauthentic to me. I feel half there, and I am experiencing things partially.
So, I wanted to give you some tips for how to be more present in the life that God has given you, I hope this helps and look forward to how being present starts to bless your life and those around you.
Doing this right along with you,
Angie
