When you take a step back and think about all that the Holidays involve, it can be a lot. We can put a ton of pressure on things being perfect, and we expect a lot out of gatherings, presents, family, traditions, performances, parties, etc. We spend more time with our families and that takes more communication, more give and take, more people involved.
We add extra onto our normal everyday life routines, to create these memories and make the most of this time of year. And some of us are dealing with other things; like issues with work, trying to stick to losing weight, not a lot of extra cash and presents to buy, a relationship that might just be starting, or ending, or the loss of someone important in your life. All of that plays into the next 2 weeks of life. So before it all happens let’s decide ahead of time what we want it to be like.
Did you know you can do that? You can decide now and create it.
I didn’t know I could just decide, plan and do.
The first time I did this was Christmas of 2018. I was getting certified to be a coach and for homework we had to answer some questions about what we most wanted to create over the Holidays. I filled it in about how I didn’t want to gain any weight over the Holidays. I didn’t know if it would happen or not, but I was doing such a great job with losing weight that I didn’t want to just throw in the towel and pig out. So when class came I showed up with my homework in hand and got coached. It was amazing to really verbalize what I most wanted. I realized that if I wanted it to happen I would need a plan, know some obstacles, and then find some amazing new thoughts to accompany me through it. Getting coached helped me see the excuses that I normally have to overeat, and how often I thought eating was the answer. As I walked through the questions it gave me huge awareness of where I was at, where I wanted to be and who I would have to become to get what I really wanted. I left that class and headed into the Holidays knowing that it was possible and pretty solid on my decisions ahead of time. Knowing that our best decisions come ahead of time and not in the moment taught me that the more I can decide the day before and then just do the next day, the better. Yeah there were things that came up, but I didn’t gain any weight over the Holidays because of the work I had done. I took the time to really see me. My relationship with myself grew because I realized that I do know what I want but I don’t often take the time to sit down, plan it out, and then go to work creating it. Often times I just let life happen to me and then just lived frustrated with the outcome. But not anymore. I was done with that.
The biggest thing that I had to do for my plan to be successful was to feel any feeling that came up. So when I was bored, I just felt bored. When I was frustrated, yeah, of course, it’s okay. I knew that negative emotions would happen and just because it’s the Holidays, they don’t go away, we still have 50% negative emotions. We can’t run from it or plan it away. I actually planned to feel hungry, frustrated, left-out, unsatisfied, and tired. I knew that eating sugar and flour and all the yummy treats of the Holidays wouldn’t solve for those emotions. So that might be something that could help you this Holiday season, deciding which negative emotions you probably will feel and being okay with it. My mentor passed away this year and so this Christmas I will be without a card from her, without a phone call, and I know I am going to feel sad, disappointed, and loss. I am open to it happening and so when it does I am not caught off guard, I go with it.
I want this to be a Holiday like you have never had before, so I created the Single Ladies Holiday Thrive Guide. My gift to you. It is 9 questions to walk you through the same experience I had in 2018. If you do this work, you will show up differently to Christmas and New Year’s. You will create a better relationship with yourself as you actually take time to think through what you most want and what you don’t want.
Give yourself a gift this week and take yourself on a date for 30 minutes and decide what you want the rest of 2020 to look like.
Deciding right along with ya,
Angie
