So often we think about surviving the Holidays and as a single woman I am sure there are parts of the Holidays that are hard but deciding what you really want your month of December to look like is key.
So many of my clients are working on creating the life they really want instead of living in default mode. I honestly didn’t know I had a default mode when I was single. I just did what I was expected to do. Be it the expectations of work, family, church, friends, or community group. I wasn’t mad about it. The people pleaser in me liked it, but really didn’t think a whole lot about what I wanted my December or Holidays to look like.
Many single women can fall into that trap. Their parents have created some traditions and they follow along. But as a single woman I want you to take ownership of the next month and create the life you really want to have for this season.
When it is all said and down how do you want to feel?
Will you be disappointed that you ate all the cookies, chose not to workout and did everything for everyone else the whole month? Will you think about all the to-do’s you had and that you checked everything off your list? Or will you have strategically decided and created the Holiday season that you wanted to make this year?
Let me help you with this.
You can create the month that you really want but your power comes in you deciding. I teach all my clients how to make decisions and how to create what they want with intentionality.
So in order to give you a taste of what working with me looks like I want to ask you some questions and give you some directions, to get you started creating the life you want this month.
Think about the whole month, the next 31 days, how do you want to feel?
Often we feel rushed, busy, overwhelmed, and obligated. But let’s decide right now how we want to feel as we do the things that make up our days. You might want to feel intentional, celebratory, serving, loving, or hopeful. Whatever you want to feel this month make it purposeful and not the default feelings from before. My goal is to feel present this entire month. Engaged with what is right in front of me. So if I am coaching someone I am 100% there, if I am shopping and getting those gifts bought, I am there. But if I am home watching a movie and relaxing I am there as well. I am filling my schedule with things that I want to be doing so I might as well be present while I am doing them!
Think about what matters the most.
You might really want to make cookies for friends or figure out a way to give back to your community. You might want to send out a Christmas card sharing your love with your people. You might want to spend time finding the best gifts for your nieces, nephews, and siblings. Or you might want to create your own traditions and make this month one for trying new Holiday adventures or activities. This month I am working on weaving Advent into our daily lives and reading Scripture daily. Whatever you are most wanting make a plan. Decide today. Put it on your calendar and then honor it. Things won’t just happen. You can make it happen though.
Work backwards from New Year’s Eve and or Christmas and map out your days.
I know this is hard with all the unknowns but jot in when you have events and what you have to have for those events. Decide if you want to throw a party, or create your own traditions. Plan it. Plan your rest time now. Plan your workouts now. Plan your joy eating now. Plan your Holiday movie and Hallmark watching now. Do it intentionally. Know what is going to fill your days.
Create a to-do list and pencil it in on your calendar.
Then throw away the to-do list and just follow and honor your calendar.
Think through all the obstacles that will get in the way of these things happening.
Remember that your sister will ask you to babysit; your project at work might run into the evening. You might magically get tired and need to binge watch Netflix. Come up with all of that now and make a plan for it. Will you tell your sister no, will you move your evening plans into a weekend? Decide now while you are in a clear headspace and not when you feel obligated and can’t follow through on what you really want the most.
Follow those steps to create the month you truly want.
Now some of you might think this is silly. Creating the month you truly want kind of seems exhausting. But this month is happening no matter what. Will you have created what you wanted or will you wish you would have…?
Living with intentionality helps us to learn more about ourselves. We learn what really matters to us and we figure out what we can and can’t do. I know there are some things that I want to do this month but as I sit down and look at my calendar and walk through this process I am able to weed out what isn’t important. I am able to decide exactly what I really want to do and the rest I let go of on purpose. I don’t have regret or guilt because I know what I most truly want. I am fully aware of what I am capable of doing in a day and thinking I can do 10 things in a day is going to KILL me. Knowing I can proceed through the day and add 1-2 things to it is much more realistic.
Some of you need to know this. DON’T add in 20 things to your already full life. If you teach and already have extra stuff added at school plan your purposeful rest now. I give you permission to do it and DROP the guilt. Some of you own side businesses and make things during this time, decide now when you will and won’t work. Please don’t exhaust yourself my friends. Walk through this season knowing you are living the life you really want and not just surviving another Holiday season alone.
Cheering you on,
Angie
