If you think, I want the Holidays to be fun and filled with joy but a lot of times at the end of the day I just feel a lot of sadness, then I want to help you with this.
I shared last week that for every season of your life (Married, single, babies, widowed) there will be some hard involved. Actually about half of it will be hard in some way or another. As a single woman, if sadness is what you struggle with during the Holidays that is okay. That is where you are at.
It isn’t the Holidays or all the events, shopping, get togethers, and things that make you sad. It is one thought that is getting you there.
It could be the thought, “I wish this was different.” Or, “I wish I was married” or “I thought he would be here by now.” Or “I don’t really have anyone to share this with.”
But whatever it is, that one thought is bringing on the feeling of sadness.
But that is good news my friends.
Once you know which thought it is, you can then do something about it if you want to. You can take that thought and think it and feel sadness all throughout your body. Give yourself over to the sadness and just know, when I think that thought it makes me sad.
Then watch this... you decide if you want to keep that thought or not. That thought, __________________ makes me feel sad. Do I want to feel sad? For some of you, you may think, “Yes, I do want to feel sad.” For others you might think, “No, I don’t want to feel sad.”
If you do, then keep thinking that thought and just own your sadness. If you don’t then decide to change that thought a little to something different but still believable.
For instance, I wish this was different, turns into it won’t always be like this. Or, I wish I was married, turns into I’m not married yet, and that’s okay.
I thought he would be here by now, turns into God must be doing something for me during this time of waiting. And I don’t really have anyone to share this with changes to, how much fun can I have with myself during these Holiday celebrations?
Knowing this one way to flip a thought is so helpful to really take ownership of your feelings.
Listen, there are going to be times that you want to be sad. It is okay. Be sad. Own it. Recognize that is where you are at. It is okay. Don’t add more pain thinking you shouldn’t be sad. Sadness can be a part of singleness. But there may also be times that you don’t want to be sad about it. If so, you can identify that thought, and flip it to feel a little different.
Holidays do not have to = sadness. They can equal joy, excitement, and a ton of other positive thoughts. You just might have to do some intentional thinking to get there.
Here’s to the Holidays, and all that comes with it.
Angie
