Walking through the dating process
The world around us right now is a HUGE reminder of all that is broken and hurting. I am saddened because I believe it shouldn’t be like this. But it is. So, we must stop and become aware. If there is anything I hope you are learning from me right now is you CAN become aware of what is going on with you. So I encourage you to do just that. Stop, give time to the issues around you right now. Sit with a pen and paper and write out your thoughts. Your toddler brain wants you to hear what it thinks right now. Show it the attention it is wanting. You will be amazed at what it has to offer you and the insight into what is going on with you during all of this.
I am being blown away but what my brain is teaching me and how I am growing and leaning into the tension of it all. The discomfort is normal. Honestly, I have been reminded of my own sin and how ALL have fallen short of the glory of God. That is me. It would be much easier for me to judge others in how they are handling things or did handle things, but that is me just wanting to justify my sin or my lack of worse sin than others. I am broken and must take ownership of that. That is where God’s power resides in us humbling ourselves and seeing ALL HUMANS as lovable. Our lack of love is where we have room to grow. I have been listening to Latasha Morrison for the last couple of years and encourage you to find someone that you are drawn to learn from as well. This is an area I am choosing to on purpose put effort into, and I know I will see growth here.
Many of you want growth in the marriage area. You are processing your desire for marriage. You are starting to own your desire. You may even be taking some action in this area. Others might be mulling this whole thing around. So, I wanted to take it a step further and share with you the dating process.
If you came to me and said, I want to get married, I would say okay I want you to have a goal of going on 50 dates in the next year. Some of you would laugh and say no thanks. Some of you would unfollow me and unsubscribe from my email list, believing that I was ridiculous. But for those of you even remotely interested, you might think, “Wow, could I really do that?”
I believe that ultimately if you didn’t find a guy that you wanted to love and he wanted to love you in return, you would learn a TON about yourself, other humans, and God.
I know that when posed with that challenge your brain would offer you all negative. You can only think about the fear, the hard, the unknown, and the heartache. I am aware that your brains job is to make you think that you could die. This would be so uncomfortable and a lot of hard work. This would require you to feel negative emotions and your brain is not up for that. It could be awkward, and ultimately it could not work. You could do all of this for nothing. You could waste an entire year of your life pursuing something that maybe you are not supposed to have. I see you. I get it. You are thinking exactly what you are supposed to think.
But I can see the other side of it too, the process that you will go through. I am hooked on seeing the person you will become. There are strategic byproducts of having a goal and going for an outcome, that you may not even be aware of.
I think you would have some great date stories. I think you would be an example to so many of going after a dream. I think you would prove to yourself so many things about you. I think you would learn what you do like and what you don’t like in guys. I think you would have tried some different restaurants or activities in the year. I think you would learn to experience some emotions that you may have been avoiding as a single woman. I think you would learn more about humans in general. I think your relationship with God would strengthen as you relied on Him for wisdom and guidance in the process. I think you would make some new friends, encounter other’s stories, get better at dating, and try some new things.
You think that you want to find someone that loves you and that you love too, but really this is just the next obstacle you are ready and willing to tackle in life. This goal can be your classroom. This step of becoming the next version of you in the story of your life is a process. It is a becoming of someone you are currently not. You don’t think the way you will when you are married. You don’t have the ability to believe the things you will when someone loves you the way you dream of being loved. That is the hardest part. Because in order to become that person you have to be committed to the process. You have to be all in. You must be committed. No matter what happens I am going to go on these 50 dates. Each and every guy or date or week is going to bring up new obstacles. Each obstacle will require you to think differently than you have before. Each new way of thinking will allow you to act differently than you have before. And in that process you become different. You change. You come face to face with beliefs you have and you question them. You realize things that you never knew before. This is brilliant. You are on purpose creating growth for yourself. You are bumping into the discomfort and deciding how you want to handle it. Through this process you learn and grow and change. I know I love that, don’t you?
But if you choose this challenge you would be purposefully stepping into growth. And normally we just wait for the hardships and challenges to come our way. We try to make it through the hard and get back to normal life. This would be different. This would be you choosing all of that. This would be strategic growth. Do you want that?
I am here watching you walk through the discomfort to the other side,
Angie