I want time with my family to be the best. But you know what, I can’t control everyone or make everyone have a good time. So, I have learned to make sure I am controlling me, and responsible for me. Which is a hard job in itself.
As I am typing this my family is all coming to my house and I wanted to pause and think through how I want to show up for our time together. If you are traveling or having people to you pause for 1 minute and think through how you want to show up today.
Here are 3 tips that I am taking with me to Thursday.
Stay curious.
Often with family I tend to get defensive and feel misunderstood. I can get lost in the conversation and next thing you know I am in a corner and feeling pinned. It may be because I have 2 brothers, or a family that can get in some deep conversations but really it is because I start defending my stance. I stop being open to other opinions. I start to go inward and pull away. I do this because of how I am feeling. I may blame it on their tone or their words but really it is me. So, today I am working on staying curious. And that comes from the thought I wonder why they feel that way or think that. I often am so focused on my thoughts or feelings that I forget to think about them and why they are saying or acting the way they are. But being curious doesn’t just mean with my family members it also means with myself. I pause often and say, “Hey, why are you feeling this way?” or, “Hey Angie, why are you acting this way?” It helps me be curious and not condemning. It helps me stay present with myself so I don’t act without really knowing why. Because believe it or not you will make mistakes today. That is okay, you are human. Humans make mistakes. Stay curious as to what is really going on with you and it will help you stay curious with others as well.
Drop the judgment
Boy do I have room to improve here. We know that our lower brain is scanning the environment looking for the negative to bring it to our attention. It thinks it is helping you by throwing it at you in a way that is negative. Know this. Be aware of it and see it for what it is. So, your sister-in-law looks at you a little differently and your brain goes to work making up a story about how she doesn’t like you. No, stop the madness. She looks at you differently and remember number 1. Everyone is human, everyone is going through stuff, and stay curious. Ask her how she is doing. Lean into it, don’t avoid it. Be the person in the room that stops the judgment with you. I love walking into the room and knowing everyone in there loves me and is for me. I practice this thought and it keeps me in a space that helps me to show up as my best self. I also choose the thought I love everyone in the room and I have so much to learn from each of them.
Lead with gratitude
Start your day off being grateful ahead of time for something in the future. Thank you for loving your family today. Thank you for resting today. Thank you for investing in your family today. Think of all the things that you can be grateful for today. Psalm 107:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. Gratitude is a way to get you into higher thinking. When we practice loving what we currently have and seeing all the good in it we start living from love and peace and abundance. We make some amazing decisions from those feelings. I want to take more actions from those feelings.
I hope these are helpful to you today. I hope you are filled with thoughts on purpose. I hope you know there will be hard moments or hard conversations or negative emotions to be felt and that is okay. That is apart of the day too. Everyone is a human, doing the best they can. That is including you!
Happy Thanksgiving!!
