What feeling stuck can teach you
Stuck is believing you are unable to move. Many women come to me there.
Feeling like they know where they want to go, but they don’t know how to get there.
Maybe they’ve tried a few things. Maybe they haven’t tried anything; they just know they don’t want to be “here” any longer. They have lived here long enough.
You might be feeling like you’re not living the life that you were meant to be living.
You might feel stuck somewhere that you don’t want to be, and I think this is good.
I think being stuck is a beautiful thing because it’s a nudge. It’s the nudge we need to pursue our dreams to become who we are and who we want to be. It doesn’t matter why you’re stuck. Being stuck might actually help you decide what you want and then decide if you are willing to go after it.
The key here is to see what you most want. For some women it is that they really want to start dating and they want to get married. For other women they want to move out of their parent’s house and start a life on their own. Other women really want to stop some bad habits they have picked up. Some want to lose weight. Others want to start a business, lead a ministry, or change jobs.
Whatever it is you’re wanting, feeling stuck where you are is actually a great sign for you. It’s letting you know that you want change. And change takes effort. It takes intentional thinking and intentional action towards something new.
You want to start focusing on where you want to go and give yourself permission to go big and dream bigger. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change circumstances. But I want to address something that often goes missed.
Whatever you want to change or to have different in your life is so you can feel different than you do.
Often people come to me wanting to feel better. They will say that something out there in the future (husband, weight loss, new job, new home, etc) that is different from today, will make my life better.
They think changing their circumstances and having something be different than it is will make them feel better. The problem is that when we change circumstances to feel better, it may temporarily, but it doesn’t fix the root issue.
Here’s how I learned this for myself:
I thought marriage would fix a lot of my issues that I was dealing with when I was single. Once I was married I would feel wanted, loved, encouraged, less frustrated, and life would be easier. Which is great because I knew what I really wanted, but I never addressed why I wanted it. I wanted marriage because I believed marriage, or my husband would make me feel those things. And when I did get married and I wasn’t feeling those things I would just blame him for not doing things right. Marriage was never going to make me feel that way. Feeling those feelings was and is my job. I was thinking about my current life of singleness in a way that made me not feel wanted, loved, encouraged, frustrated, and that life was hard. I didn’t know that I was creating all of that. I just saw marriage as the solution. But really changing my thinking was the ultimate solution. And I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know that it was totally fine to want to be married, but there was still going to be issues when I was married.
When you focus on changing your circumstances it might temporarily feel different. When you get the new place you are excited, but eventually you are left with the same feelings and struggle, until you tackle the underlying emotions.
That is what I teach women to do.
I teach women exactly how to figure out what they want to feel and how to feel that right now without any of those circumstances changing.
Many women I work with still go after their dreams and goals but they do it with a total different expectation of what life will be like when they hit them. And the whole process of change and becoming someone different than they are today grows them differently. They enjoy the process of becoming.
Yes, losing weight is fun, but what you learn in the process and how you manage your mind, feel your feelings, and tackle all the beliefs that are holding you back, now that is transformational.
After working with me, women know why they want something to be different, they are okay with the nudge, and they are able to really uncover why they want something and what that is really showing them. Then they figure out how to manage their mind to focus on their future and where they are headed. The work they do with me uncovers all the beliefs that try and hold them back from getting there.
Don’t believe the thoughts that are keeping you stuck. Think about who you really want to be and what chasing after those dreams would require of you.
Are you willing to go all in and become that person?
Let me help you get there.