I just don't like (fill in the blank)
Lately the term “I don’t like…” has come up a lot. I have been thinking it, my clients have been thinking it, and even my kids have been saying it.
You may not like your job, your roommate, or your family. You may not like the weight on the scale or even the pillow you sleep on. You may not like this shelter in place order or what is happening somewhere out there in the world. Whatever it is you don’t like, has everything to do with the way you are thinking about it. And the way you think about it is absolutely optional.
Your job is completely likable, your roommate, she is too. The weight on the scale, a pillow and even your family or family members, yep, they are likeable.
The reason we like something is because we think super high quality thoughts about it. Let’s take a person for instance, let’s say your best friend, the reason you like her is because you choose really great thoughts about her and when you think those thoughts you feel amazing. You may not even be aware of the high quality thoughts you choose for her because they come automatically. She talks or says something and you have thoughts like she gets me, she cares about me, she loves me, so unconscious to you, you think it is what she is saying that is making you feel that way or how she is saying it.
On the other hand take a person that you don’t like. They say anything and your thoughts are: you are totally misunderstanding me, you don’t really even care about me, and you will never get it. When you think those thoughts you feel awful and you think it is coming from their words or the way they are saying it. The reality you are subconsciously thinking those unknown thoughts and creating those awful feelings.
I want you to take something right now in your life that you don’t like and decide right now there are people in the world that not only like that person or thing but rave about it.
What do you think those people who like it are thinking?
Let’s take someone’s job as an example.
Maybe you don’t like your job at all right now. When you think about it you are filled with negative emotion. It is hard for you to find anything you really like about it.
Now think about someone who likes their job and raves about it. They think it is a privilege to get to do the work that they are doing. They feel like the Lord created this job just for them. They get to love people and use their talents to benefit everyone they come into contact with. They feel like their job allows them to help others. They can’t think of anything else they would rather do than invest themselves into their work. They look for ways that their job challenges them. They look for ways to work with others to get better and grow and evolve in their job. When they think those thoughts about their job they feel amazing. They feel empowered and they do their work with excellence and joy.
You might argue that their job must be amazing, but what if I told you this is the way a janitor who cleaned the school that I worked at in the Philippines felt. It was her thoughts that created her liking and raving about her job. She created all of this because she chose to think high quality thoughts about it.
It is not your jobs job to make you like it, it is your job to like it.
That works for everything in life. It is not your friends job, your families job, or any circumstances job to make you like them, that is your responsibility.
It just doesn’t come naturally. It will take work to weed out your current thoughts and start adopting some new thoughts. And listen, the world will tell you just get a new job, which will solve your problem. You will like another job so much better. That is probably true. But, if you don’t clean up your thinking and learn how to like things just as they are you will get into the habit of just changing up the circumstances to feel differently.
You don’t like a friend, so get a different one. You don’t like your apartment; you can find a new one. Your roommate is a mess; there has to be someone better out there. We do this for everything from job to church to friends and everything in between. If we don’t like something, just get a different version and it will be easier to like.
The key here is to clean up your thinking first, learn how to like it right where it is and then decide if you want something different. You decide after you have learned to like it.
Some of you don’t like me right now. Your thoughts might be well that sounds hard.
But learning the skill of changing the way you think about something is a huge asset to have in life.
I have learned to like so many things in my life in the past couple of years since learning all of this work. The first thing I learned to like was me. I learned to like my weight, and then decided to change that. I have cleaned up thoughts that made me not like my kids, husband and other relationships. I am working on liking certain parts of my life right now. This is a skill that I use regularly and has been so helpful to me.
My kids love that I am a life coach, and the other day my daughter said, “Mom, I don’t like waffles, to which I proceeded to say well waffles are what you are having, so pick some really great thoughts about waffles and eat up.”
Imagine me saying that to you… pick some really great thoughts and start liking whatever is going on with you.
With lots of love,
Angie
P.S. If you need any help, I got you. This is what I do all the time. So many of my clients came to me not liking different parts of their life (relationship status, weight, job, friendships, even relationship with self). It has been in the coaching that they have found thoughts that are keeping them stuck. They didn’t know they were creating all of this dislike for their own life. Watching them take full responsibility and start to choose thoughts that fuel the life they really want is why I love my job.
If you are ready to do this work than schedule your Before & After today! Click the link below: